You all put a weight of responsibility for your happiness on other people. You get in relationships with people who may not share all the same likes as you, then expect them to conform to your wishes. I used to be there, and married someone because I thought we had a lot in common.
What’s funny is all those things we thought we had in common were absent from our marriage. We never went to a football game together. Never went to a basketball game together. All I did was lose myself trying to help her do her hair, and running her bath water, and things of that sort.
We enjoyed a lot of great times, but in the end, we realized all either of us did was cause ourselves pain, thinking we were responsible for making each other happy. The great lesson of it all is that today my happiness is exclusively created by me.
A relationship doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. It means that those things that are manifestations of your individual self-love, that are common to both of you, get to be enjoyed together.
I like sports. Dominique doesn’t. Instead of me trying to get her to go with me to a basketball game, I can get friends who enjoy basketball to go with me, while she does something she enjoys that I don’t particularly care for. Or, the basketball game can be my me time.
You all don’t know how to experience others. You are consumed with the idea of possessing your mates and your children, and end up driving people away by demanding of them this conformity to your world, when your world’s can co-exist.
Love is acceptance. There is no control is love. Love isn’t martyrdom either. Stop feeling like you have to compromise yourself for the sake of a relationship. That shit will kill you, and despite Christian opinion, you didn’t come here to die for someone else to live.
Your responsibility is to live your best life. You ought to spend your time with someone who is living their best life as well. Otherwise, you will find yourself old, and miserable one day, knowing everyone around you, but not knowing yourself at all.
