I know this probably seems a strange statement to read, considering most people these days will tell you life begins at conception, but from my own knowledge, I can attest to you that life doesn’t begin until the age of forty-six. To be even more exact, life begins at forty-six years, six months, five days, and twenty-three hours. So, I expect your next thought (or question) to be, “How did you come to that conclusion?”
Well, there’s a short answer; then there’s a much longer, more detailed, extremely philosophical response, rooted primarily in constructs of Gnosticism and esoterica. The short answer is that 46 years, 6 months, 5 days, and 23 hours was exactly how “old” I was when the light that sparked this blog entry came on. The long answer is the reason why this blog entry doesn’t end here, but continues on to explain the logic of my thesis.
So, yes, I was born on Monday, January 8, 1973 at 5:57 pm EST. Today is Sunday, July 14, 2019, and I actually began writing this at 4:57 pm EDT. That’s “exactly” forty-six years, six months, five days, and twenty-three hours (excusing the folly of daylight savings time) from my birth to the moment my life began.
I would like to propose to you an idea concerning the morality of abortion. While morality, in truth, is a purely subjective matter, the debate of abortion really goes back to the individual belief, or understanding, concerning the beginning of life. Most who are pro-choice view abortion as part of a woman’s right to choose what to do with her own body. Those who consider themselves pro-life generally believe the woman is making a choice concerning a separate living being. What if the pro-choice argument is actually more consistent with how the average person exists, while the pro-life stance holds true to the theology of most individuals? Can these both be true?
Hear me out. While babies are born by the rate globally of about 15,000/hour, I would venture to say that only about 1% of the people ever born have actually lived their lives. These babies are delivered through the wombs of the mothers, but very few ever reach a point of self-awareness where they do much more than exist for their connections to family, friends, communities, religions, cultures, races, and nations. All the average individual ever experiences is existence within a womb, or “the matrix”. While they think they are free moral agents, the reality is that they are puppets, sustained only by their attachment to a proverbial umbilical cord. Everything they say, do, and experience is chosen for them by the world surrounding them.
Life, however, as I view it, doesn’t begin until one realizes his own autonomy as God. Ironically, prior to birth, that is really all a baby knows. Though the baby is within the matrix of the mother, from all it can ascertain, it is the source of all. The baby controls everything, with no assistance from any other source that it is cognizant of. The baby develops, eats, breathes, moves, sees, and hears on its own command. It isn’t until the baby exits the physical matrix that it becomes aware of the metaphysical matrix, and immediately, the baby begins to exist at the discretion of others.
I existed the entire previous 46 years, 6 months, 5 days, and 23 hours for the satisfaction and pleasure of others. Even in my choice to be grateful through it all, that wasn’t living. I entered End Stage Renal Disease on February 14, 1991. I was just eighteen years, one month, five days, and slightly over twelve hours, old. I hadn’t even had a chance to attend prom yet, choose a college, decide on a major, or graduate from high school. Yet, there I was facing the prospect of death; and that became another master unto me. No longer was I just existing for the pleasure of my family and community, but I also was then existing to outrun mortality.
I reached a point when I became consumed with just not being dead; especially being twenty-three years past my life-expectancy. I was in such a hurry to “live” before I ran out of time that I had failed to actually live. I was doing everything I could to enjoy life as it had been portrayed for me, and I missed the evidence that I AM God; the true and living God. My ignorance of my own being kept me trapped in the maze of doing what everyone else told me I should be doing… and all that was doing was robbing myself of life. I was trying to possess my existence rather than experience my divinity.
All along, most of the people I felt umbilically attached to, metaphorically, are not people I can call on when I AM in need. Some would like to “blame” me for them not being reliable, but no one is to blame or praise. I have, however, accepted accountability today for continuing to maintain attachments to individuals who I AM just not connected to. In my self-awareness, I finally accept that I have NO biological family. I have people whom I share a close DNA match to, but they don’t fit the definition of family. However, I had spent the past forty-six and a half years existing to be accepted by a matrix that was only intended to provided my gestation.
So, today, my life begins. Today, I AM refusing to remain in the womb of comfort any longer. Today, I AM taking the bull by the horns, and by the power I AM, commanding my Universe as only the God I AM can. I have been an absentee creator for far too long, and my Universe has the chaos to prove it. But today, as I AM born again, I AM preparing myself for a kidney transplant, and to manifest all of my greatest imaginations, because I AM him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think according to the power I AM. I AM not accepting sympathy or pity. I AM only accepting love and victory… because my name is Victory!
Life, for me, begins at forty-six. Death died today, and eternal life is come. I AM risen with all power in my hands, so I say it is high time that I worship the lamb who was slain, but lives! Worthy is the lamb. I AM the lamb, and I finally can hear all the angels crying “Holy! Holy! Holy!”
